It’s a brand new year. A new cycle and a time to recap. Being thrown in the showbiz out of nowhere, being caught up with erratic schedules, stares from the public, drastic mood swings, self-questionings, heartaches… 2008 had been a wild ride for me.
Obviously, being labelled a star all of a sudden is a rather overwhelming process. Lights, make-up, cameras had not been unfamiliar to me all these years as a model. But anonymity has been taken away from me in 2008. The nakedness makes me feel rather uncomfortable in many ways. However it’s a choice I have to live and deal with. And I will survive.
On the flip side, 2008 had been so enriching in incredible ways.
Erratic schedules…How about exciting and unpredictable timetables? Yes, the variety of stuff I had done was amazing. Dramas, countdown parties, tradeshows, press conferences, cover shoots…FUN!
Stares…I am grateful for the appreciation from people who watched my shows. Those who cried and laughed for my character, I thank you. They recognize me on the streets and most of them reciprocated with an embracing smile. Sometimes, I feel that I am in a world without strangers.
Drastic mood swings… I had the chance to explore and discover the many sides of me and the opportunity to understand how I actually work. Digging into my strengths and vulnerabilities had been an enlightening process.
Self-questioning… A time for introspection. Be truthful to no one but myself. To fess up to my own flaws and sins, reflecting my past doings and reset my directions for my future.
Heartaches… While going down the memory lane to search for trigger points to feel for my scenes, I can.t imagine how much memories I recalled when I tried hard enough. The memories I kept aside for so long, be it happy or sad, all came back to me. It felt like traveling in a time machine, revisiting the moment in time.
Feeling a sense of nostalgia when I see my idols… respectable actors whom I grew up watching. Interacting with them is like reconnecting a piece of me from the past. It’s indescribable.
So all in all, 2008 had been kind to me. And I will pay it forward by treating 2009 well.