Shades of grey

I’ve always subjected myself to a sense of guilt whenever I thought about my choice to begin and to remain in showbiz. The reason is because I see it as an extremely self indulgent industry, where I really do enjoy my work. The diversity of it and the opportunity to explore areas of life I would never have a chance to if I landed somewhere else are charming factors to me.
Growing up, I have always thought I would end up in a job related to humanities. An urban geographer, researcher of some sort or a community worker. Like many social idealists, I wanted to make a difference in the world. The current path I have taken seems rather hypocritical.
Blame it on my inqusitive nature, my vanity, my restlessness, I am who I am now.
However, thanks to an unexpected conversation with my grandmother, I managed to lift myself out of the conundrum.  In a nutshell, over the phone one day, my grandmother was chirping excitedly over my latest drama serial. “我喜欢看新加坡的戏。。每一个我都追的。。看电视我就开心: she quipped.
Those simple words reminded me of how 搞笑行动 used to make my Mondays less blue, how Aiyoyo 老师 made school seem like a second home.
Perhaps, I should go easy on myself. If souls are invisible, immeasurable, then surely the work of an artist is incalculable. Showbiz, entertainment industry,  artistic realm, whatever you name it, we reach out to the hearts of people and leave imprints with our creation.
As I move on, I now have a deeper understanding of what my work pertains. My industry is an enormous Kaleidescape, encapsulating life in the expressions of dramas, songs, performances. I express you, I represent you, I am you.
So, now, what’s wrong with indulging in life, loving life.

4 comments

  1. Never belittle with what you’re doing.
    Drama, variety are a good representation of the society. With audiences discussing about the plot and character of the dramas, it generates their thoughts and brings about social awareness to audiences.
    Sometimes it encourages audiences to help the less privileged.
    Sometimes it inspires audiences to chase us after their dreams.
    Sometimes it brings a smile to the audiences face after a hard day at work.

    Have faith in whatever you do and continue to enjoy what you love to do.. For not every person out there is lucky to be in the line where they enjoy..

    You’re doing a fine job there young lady.. keep it going.

  2. Very brave of you to pen such thoughts out in public. Just a little something I believe in – as long as you are doing what you love, everything else will fall into place.

    Even as an actress, you can, and are, making a difference in the world. Even if in a much smaller way than you had initially imagined you would. As someone with a following, with fans, the things you say and do, can affect the people whom you are adored by. Your words of encouragement to a discouraged student about to take her exams, can be the difference between her fighting on, or giving up.

    There’s an old saying, even if I i save but one little bird, fallen from it’s tree, my life would not have been in vain.

    Keep doing what you do best, and don’t give up on your dreams!

  3. That is the question I ask when I read your writings. Given your tendency to be pensive and thoughtful, this is hardly the industry for someone seeking a higher purpose in life. If life is about penetrating illusions and getting to the real, then show business is perpetuating an illusion within an illusion, often for the commercial purposes.

    Granted that media has the power to move people and incite changes, one can argue that it is mainly used for entertainment and/or dramatization.

    So I think to myself: what are you doing in show business… and I do note that the roles you undertake are often the less popular, more controversial and cryptic (I hesitate to use the word “deeper” characters which you pull off with a certain poise. So.. bravo.

    Those roles aren’t likely to win you any popularity awards, but you do them better than anyone else. So there.

    In all honesty, I don’t watch much TV or any Mediacorp drama, so I can’t say I am a fan of your works. But I am a fan of your words; even though you don’t write much.

    From time to time, I do catch you on TV. For whatever reason you are there, until you find something better to do, you are doing a great job, and like what you say: enjoy it. Enjoy life. Have fun.

  4. 社会的架构很微妙: 正因为我们有不同的人, 在不同的领域, 做着自己擅长/ 喜欢做的事, 所以才会多元化,lively和有趣.
    我相信, 不管在哪一行, 大家都能以自己的方式, 对社会做出贡献. 加油!

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